How to Plan a Date With Yourself

How to Plan a Date With Yourself
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When’s the last time you had a date with yourself? Just you and nobody else but you?

This isn’t necessarily about booking in for a well-deserved massage or pedicure or treating yourself to a trashy magazine with your feet up. (Although I’m a big fan of this kind of self-care!)

This is blocking out some time where you can sit with a notebook, journal or your Project Me Life Wheel® and Action Sheets to figure things out and get to know yourself better.

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day whirlwind of life that you fall into bed at night without any chance for planning or reflection.

Then the next morning you start the whole crazy routine all over again!

Making a date with yourself is an essential part of your productivity and your personal growth. 

I’ve got a friend who heads to a cozy local cafe with low lighting and comfy sofas every Sunday evening while her lovely husband stays behind with their two young children. (Don’t you just want to hug him?)

He knows how important it is for her to get out of the house and have some time for herself. She uses this weekly date with herself to recharge and reconnect.

She spends the time getting clear about her goals, journal writing and doodling.

She’s set herself five non-negotiable rules:

  1. Prepare for success by having a bag prepacked with pens/paper/notebooks + headphones and music to drown out any distracting conversations.
  2. Exit the house promptly. (There will always be last-minute mayhem on the homefront, but she knows if she just gets out the door on time, everything will be fine.  And it always is.)
  3. Leave the laptop behind. (It holds far too many potential distractions.)
  4. Never use this golden time to worry, stress – or organise purse or calendar.
  5. Stay off the phone. (Except in an emergency – and there never is one.) Absolutely no checking emails or playing with apps. I admire her self-control with that!

She credits this weekly date for her sanity. Oh how I wish I’d thought of this when my kids were small!

It’s taken me years to realise the incredible power of a weekly date with myself.

Mine now happens in bed. One evening a week I skip watching TV or hanging out online.

Instead, I run myself a bath with scented candles, bubbles and a facemask. Afterwards, I float over to my cozy bed and, propped up with pillows, I write in my journal. Here’s where my thoughts flow freely. What’s going on, how am I feeling, what ideas do I have?

I keep my Project Me folder under my bed so I can easily whip out a Challenge Solver, Magic Matrix or other various Action Sheets and hash things out on paper. (Always the best way!)

I understand myself and my life so much better when I do this regularly. It gives me clarity and focus. I can articulate my feelings and desires with my husband because I’m clear. I recognise issues with my kids that need my attention before they turn into major problems.

It flags up any feelings of anxiety or worry so I can explore it and figure things out.

If you’re not a journal writer, I beg you to try it. (I’ve saved myself countless hours of therapy over the years!)

If that’s absolutely not going to happen, here’s another way to approach it.

Set a weekly date to log onto Project Me. If you haven’t done your Life Wheel exercise recently, start there. (Or sign up for it here.)

Your Wheel is always turning and it’s a great self-assessment tool to see which areas of your life need your focus. Explore the website and read topics relevant to your life right now. When you feel inspired to try something, create a written Action Plan for making it happen.

It’s too easy to spend your downtime getting sucked into social media or mindlessly surfing the web.

The more regularly you have a date with yoursèlf, the better equipped you are to handle life’s challenges. You’ll be a first class problem solver. The expert of you.

So, when’s that first date with yourself going to be?

In the comments below share your take-aways from this post. What do you think of a regular Date With Yourself to focus on your Project Me? Are you going to schedule it in?

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I’m passionate about helping you find a happier balance. Take this free gift – and let me know how it works for you.

Kelly Pietrangeli

Kelly Pietrangeli

Mama Motivator at Project Me
Kelly Pietrangeli is the creator of Project Me for Busy Mothers, helping women find a happier balance between the kids - and everything else.

Mixing practicality with self-awareness, Kelly helps mothers get on top of their endless to-do’s, set goals and improve their lives one small step at a time.

Grab her free Life Wheel Tool for discovering what needs your focus first.
Kelly Pietrangeli

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Tell Us What You Think.

10 Responses to How to Plan a Date With Yourself

  1. […] up a regular Date With Yourself to focus on your Project Me. Do a light assessment of how each area of your life is going. What […]

  2. Fiona says:

    I showed this to my husband and he totally supports the idea! He said he’s happy to watch the kids so I can have a date with myself to do the project me worksheets and plan my week ahead. Thanks for the idea and for all of the greatness you do Kelly. I’ve been following you and project me for a year and I am learning and growing so much.

  3. Anne says:

    I’m a single mum with three kids and barely enough time to breathe. But I do feel inspired to do this. When I’m tired I do tend to veg out on social media and I can try to not to do that one night a week and to do some planning instead. I used to keep a journal and I can start that again. Mostly I just want to get organised and I know that means taking time to plan things out on paper. I do have your life wheel somewhere and need to find it again. I enjoy your weekly newsletters. Thank you!

    • I’m so happy this has inspired you Anne! It’s tough when time is scarce and you’re tired, but I honestly believe that if you schedule this in and make time for it, you’ll reap the benefits and want to make it a regular habit.

      A great way to start is by using a Design My Day sheet every morning (or night before).

      And you’ve inspired me to quickly add a link to the Life Wheel Tool to my newsletter this morning. Save it to your computer and use it once a month to do a quick assessment of each life area and see what needs some attention.

      You can let your life control you, or you can get proactive and take control of your life. All I’m doing here is giving you the tools and inspiration. Thanks for following Project Me 🙂

  4. Mariah says:

    Perfect timing, Kelly.

    I’ve slooooowly started doing this. Since I’m a work-at-home mom with 4 young kids I always have to “work” 24/7 because my kids are still home. So that means a LOT of nights and weekends.

    But since the new year, I’ve devoted Sunday’s to myself getting things done, which makes me feel so much better for Monday. NO more biz work on Sunday’s.

    Now I’ll take it a step further and start taking baths and journaling like you. I have a gratitude journal but haven’t taken it up from there.

    Thanks for the tips!

  5. Rachel says:

    I love this idea! For the last few months I’ve scheduled into my calendar a few hours to sit down with the life wheel, some pens and paper and my passion planner. I work through the wheel and then I set some goals for the month, loosely plan anything that’s lacking (some self-care, any appointments, date night, fun with my toddler etc …) it’s so therapeutic and really helps me feel in control rather than constantly chasing my tail. I really can’t recommend it enough! 🙂

    • This is so wonderful to read Rachel and thanks so much for taking the time to share how you do it and how it benefits you. Your positive recommendation has made my day and I hope you’ll keep me posted on your progress 🙂

  6. […] before the kids and staying in bed to write in my gratitude journal or meditate. And setting a monthly date with myself and my Project Me. The chart looks less choppy and grows steadily […]

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