When’s the last time you had a date with yourself? Just you and nobody else but you?
This isn’t necessarily about booking in for a well-deserved massage or pedicure or treating yourself to a trashy magazine with your feet up. (Although I’m a big fan of this kind of self-care!)
It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day whirlwind of life that you fall into bed at night without any chance for planning or reflection.
Then the next morning you start the whole crazy routine all over again!
Making a date with yourself is an essential part of your productivity and your personal growth.
I’ve got a friend who heads to a cozy local cafe with low lighting and comfy sofas every Sunday evening while her lovely husband stays behind with their two young children. (Don’t you just want to hug him?)
He knows how important it is for her to get out of the house and have some time for herself. She uses this weekly date with herself to recharge and reconnect.
She spends the time getting clear about her goals, journal writing and doodling.
She’s set herself five non-negotiable rules:
- Prepare for success by having a bag prepacked with pens/paper/notebooks + headphones and music to drown out any distracting conversations.
- Exit the house promptly. (There will always be last-minute mayhem on the homefront, but she knows if she just gets out the door on time, everything will be fine. And it always is.)
- Leave the laptop behind. (It holds far too many potential distractions.)
- Never use this golden time to worry, stress – or organise purse or calendar.
- Stay off the phone. (Except in an emergency – and there never is one.) Absolutely no checking emails or playing with apps. I admire her self-control with that!
She credits this weekly date for her sanity. Oh how I wish I’d thought of this when my kids were small!
It’s taken me years to realise the incredible power of a weekly date with myself.
Mine now happens in bed. One evening a week I skip watching TV or hanging out online.
Instead, I run myself a bath with scented candles, bubbles and a facemask. Afterwards, I float over to my cozy bed and, propped up with pillows, I write in my journal. Here’s where my thoughts flow freely. What’s going on, how am I feeling, what ideas do I have?
I keep my Project Me folder under my bed so I can easily whip out a Challenge Solver, Magic Matrix or other various Action Sheets and hash things out on paper. (Always the best way!)
I understand myself and my life so much better when I do this regularly. It gives me clarity and focus. I can articulate my feelings and desires with my husband because I’m clear. I recognise issues with my kids that need my attention before they turn into major problems.
It flags up any feelings of anxiety or worry so I can explore it and figure things out.
If you’re not a journal writer, I beg you to try it. (I’ve saved myself countless hours of therapy over the years!)
If that’s absolutely not going to happen, here’s another way to approach it.
Set a weekly date to log onto Project Me. If you haven’t done your Life Wheel exercise recently, start there. (Or sign up for it here.)
Your Wheel is always turning and it’s a great self-assessment tool to see which areas of your life need your focus. Explore the website and read topics relevant to your life right now. When you feel inspired to try something, create a written Action Plan for making it happen.
It’s too easy to spend your downtime getting sucked into social media or mindlessly surfing the web.
The more regularly you have a date with yoursèlf, the better equipped you are to handle life’s challenges. You’ll be a first class problem solver. The expert of you.
So, when’s that first date with yourself going to be?
In the comments below share your take-aways from this post. What do you think of a regular Date With Yourself to focus on your Project Me? Are you going to schedule it in?
To receive the Project Me Life Wheel®, pop your name and email into the box below. (I’ll never share your details with anyone.)
The results of your wheel will give you a starting point for what steps to take next. Each week you’ll also get a Monday Motivator to help keep you on track.
I’m passionate about helping you find a happier balance. Take this free gift – and let me know how it works for you.
Mixing practicality with self-awareness, Kelly helps mothers get on top of their endless to-do’s, set goals and improve their lives one small step at a time.
Grab her free Life Wheel Tool for discovering what needs your focus first.